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For as long as I can remember all I ever wanted was to be a mom. Even as a little girl when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up I would always say "I want to be a mommy and have lots of babies". The hardest thing in the world for me to accept was the possibility of that not becoming a reality. I knew there were people who would not agree with fertility treatments, but I didn't expect people to be so vocal about their opinions. I even had someone say to me once, "If God intended for you to have children, he would have given them to you the "right" way". Who gets to decide what is the right way?? I had seen so many people who had these beautiful babies and they weren't even taking care of them. If they could have them, then so could I. At least I had to try, I couldn't give up without trying whatever was available.

I don't remember a lot about the rest of that afternoon. I just sort of went numb I guess. I don't think I even really understood the reality of what could happen to my baby. The Dr. called down to Iowa City and recommended that they see me right away. They sent a copy of the ultrasound to them and a week later I was at U of I Hospitals and Clinics in the Pediatric Cardiology office. I hadn't even heard of Pediatric Cardiology before. They did another Ultrasound and the heartbeat was perfectly normal. So what did this mean? When they looked at the CD of the one performed the week earlier, they could clearly see that something was not right. They sent me home with no answers and said to follow up with my OB the following week. At that next appointment, the heart rate was over 400 beats per minute. This time the phone call to IA City was a bit more frantic. I was to go straight to U of I to the ER and they would be there waiting for me.

I was admitted to the maternity ward and was there for 7 days. Just so happened that I was there for Homecoming weekend! We still had season tickets at that time so Darin went to the game. The nurses were wonderful!! About 10 mins. before kick-off they came and got me, a room had opened up at the end of the hall with a great view of the stadium, they actually packed up all of my stuff for me and switched my room!!! I couldn't see the field, but I could see the Jumbo Tron and the score board, so I was thrilled!! How could this child possibly come out and NOT be a Hawkeye fan?

They finally diagnosed Owen with SVT, (Super ventricular Tachycardia). One side of the heart was not sending the message to the other side telling it when to beat so it was trying to compensate by beating more frequently (my way of summing it up) Once I was released,  I was put on bed rest. I had to take medication daily throughout the rest of the pregnancy in order to regulate the babies heartbeat. I had to be seen by my Ob once a week and hooked up to the monitor for an hour to be sure the medication was still working. I also had to be seen in IA City twice a month in the high-risk clinic, I hated that they called it that. Things seemed to improve and after 2 months of bed-rest, I was so ready to just hold my baby boy.

From the Beginning

I have thought about this blog for a long time now and had a really hard time deciding where to start. From the beginning, the actual beginning, as in the start of my own life or from the beginning of motherhood? For now, I'm gonna go with motherhood. Maybe someday I will decided to add the story of "me" if for nothing else but my own therapy.

So motherhood for me began on December 10, 2006. Owen Michael Schoonover came into this world at 12:43 pm, was 7 lbs. 10 oz. and 19.5 inches long. He was born at University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics one day before his due date. I would say his birth was both the scariest and most amazing experiences of my life.

I found out that I was pregnant on April 4th 2006 and I honestly couldn't believe it. I took the pregnancy test at 5 a.m. (not sure why so early, guess I just had a feeling) I remember Darin was up for work and had taken the dog outside. I took the test and when he came back in the house I was standing in the hallway crying. When I told him, he just hugged me and we stood there for a few minutes. Of course I wanted to be absolutely sure so I had to wait until 10 am when the Dr.s office opened so I could go in and confirm it. A very LONG 5 hours of waiting!!!! Sure enough, I was pregnant. I was so happy. We had been on fertility treatments for 3 months and had just started the last round. Things were not looking good, and my OB said to prepare myself for the disappointment cause she just didn't know if it would happen. I had been diagnosed with Endometriosis a few years earlier and had been told that I would have a difficult time conceiving and carrying full term, so I was scared that this wouldn't end the way we had prayed it would.

Pregnancy went really smoothly and everything seemed to be very normal, the Dr. was certain things were going to be fine. At my 19 week appointment (of course the only one that Darin missed) my excitement turned to fear. The nurse was examining me and was trying to get the heartbeat. I saw this look of horror on her face, even though she was trying to smile and play it off as though everything was fine. She said that she was going to get another nurse just to have her listen quick, but not to worry, it was probably nothing. First the PA came in and started listening, again that look that no one ever wants to see. She then said she wanted the Dr. to come in, again, "Don't worry" yeah right!!  They wouldn't say what was going on just that the heartbeat didn't sound right. When the Dr. finally came in, I knew there was definitely a problem. She ordered an ultrasound and of course they had already left for the day. I started to panic when the Dr. got on the phone and told them that they needed to get someone up there ASAP to perform an ultrasound. The ultrasound confirmed the Dr.s fears and still left me confused and scared. The heartbeat was over 200 beats a minute.